She asks me why I choose to read those articles when they surface on CNN, Drudge, or Google News. At times I am overwhelmed by the atrocities. Once I got so caught up in the story I felt an overwhelming sense of fear for the child that was assaulted. Sometimes I am numb and look at it clinically.
Always, I am looking for answers.
Was the child aware of what was going on? Did they have parents who loved them? How will they grow up (if still alive) and cope in life?
I want to know where the justice is when the child(ren) I love(d) get taken unwillingly yet ones exist that are not loved, abandoned, abused, even sometimes killed?
I wrench inside at what horrible things happen in our fallen world. I wrench harder when I try to resolve the love Jen and I have for our children and some of those have never been afforded their first breath - or even the one who had 15 months of breathing.
I don't have he answers.
I'm not sure I ever will.
One motif continues to repeat / replay (did I use that word right?) when I question.
Heavenly Father:
Those little ones are with me now. They have no memory of that experience. They are totally caught up in me now. There is no need to grieve them. Focus on those who remain.
I think of Jesus, when the children were coming up to him and appeared to be overwhelming him as his disciples tried to coral them away. I can see - EVEN FEEL - him smiling, with almost a laugh as he tells them, "Let the children come." What joy he has with them. What a connection. What a longing.
He then makes the profound statement to many who probably thought they had most of the answers - who had such knowledge - that in order to enter the Kingdom one had to come as a child comes.
Children have excitement. They have anticipation.
They have questions.
I am thankful that God is unsearchable (meaning He is SO vast that we can explore Him forever and still not know everything about Him).
I will continue to ask.
I will continue to realize that I may never know.
1 comment:
Jon, I don't know if this will help or not, but you are not alone in those thoughts of being lost when reading about other children being neglected or hurt. And I still am not sure it will ever go away.
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